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Male Sexual Harassment: Harassment and Assault Happen to Males Too!

Male Sexual Harassment: Harassment and Assault Happen to Males Too!

View the Sexual Harassment and Assault Happen to Males Too PowerTopic

What’s Ahead

  • Who are the victims?
  • Who are the abusers?
  • What is the prevalence of educator abuse?
  • How are male and female sexual abuse/assault different?
  • What is male sexual abuse/assault and sexual harassment?
  • Where does the sexual abuse occur?
  • What is hazing?
  • What are some emotions and behaviors male survivors experience?
  • What are some social myths male survivors face?
  • Where can male survivors get help?
  • How can survivors continue their education in a supportive environment?
  • Discussion Topics
  • Dive Deeper

Male Sexual Harassment and Assault Overview

“Males” refers to children, adolescents, and adults, cis-gender (“straight”) heterosexuals, gays, trans males, or gender-nonconforming people identifying as male. This is a long presentation and may require two sessions to complete. You may want to go quickly through it and return for a second session.

We highly recommend you hear Christopher Routenberg-Evans’s’ talk (6 minutes).

Who Are the Victims?

What do we know about sexual harassment and abuse of males? 

  • What percentage of males will be sexually assaulted by the age of 16 by an older person?
    • At least one in six males will be physically sexually assaulted by the age of 16. 
    • If we include abuse that doesn’t involve touching (e.g., the abuser exposes themself or shows the victim pornography), then one in five males will have experienced sexual abuse by the age of 16.
  • What is the average age that boys first experience sexual abuse?
    • The average age a boy experiences sexual abuse is 10.
  • What is the age range in which boys are first abused?
    • The age range in which boys are first abused is from infancy to late adolescence.
  • Is this information astonishing?
  • Most research data focuses on heterosexual males.
  • But we know that transgender and nonbinary adolescents are twice as likely to experience sexual violence than their cisgendered peers.  (see GLSEN’s The 2021 National School Climate Survey)
  • Given these statistics for all males, it’s likely that one of your male friends has been sexually abused by the age of 16.

Who Are the Abusers?

  • What percentage of abusers are male?  What is their sexual orientation?
    • It’s estimated that between 50 to 75% of the abusers are other males who consider themselves heterosexual; most know the victim but are unrelated to him. 
    • Gender nonconforming people are “less likely to attempt rape or commit sexual assault, researchers have found.” (See Trans Teens Less Likely to Commit Acts of Sexual Violence, Says New Study)
    • Other abusers can also be family members, friends, peers, people in positions of power (scout leaders, club leaders, clergy), and strangers.
  • How many males are sexually abused by females?

What is the Prevalence of Educator Abuse?

How are Male and Female Sexual Assault Different?

National Center for PTSD writes:

  • Those who sexually assault males target different victims from those who assault only females.
  • Boys are more likely than girls to be sexually abused by strangers or by authority figures in schools, religious organizations, or athletics programs, for example.
  • Those who sexually assault males usually choose young men and male adolescents (the average age is 17 years old) as their victims and are more likely to assault many victims, compared to those who sexually assault females.
  • Perpetrators often assault young males in isolated areas where help is not readily available. For instance, a perpetrator who assaults males may pick up a teenage hitchhiker on a remote road or find some other way to isolate his intended victim.
  • As is true about those who assault and sexually abuse women and girls, most perpetrators of males are men. Specifically, men are perpetrators in about 86 out of every 100 (or 86%) of male victimization cases.
  • Despite popular belief that only gay men would sexually assault men or boys, most male perpetrators identify themselves as heterosexuals and often have consensual sexual relationships with women.

What is Male Sexual Abuse/Assault?

Is force always involved?

  • Male sexual assault is any non-consensual act of a sexual nature which involves domination and threatens the physical and/or psychological well-being of a male.
  • These acts always are always an abuse of power but may or may not involve physical force.
  • Sexual assault that doesn’t involve physical force may occur through persuasion such as threats, intimidation, or substances like date-rape drugs.
  • Sexual abuse that involves physical contact is referred to using different terms such as rape, sexual assault, sexual battery, unlawful sexual conduct, or criminal sexual conduct.
  • The terms for legal purposes vary from state to state, but the abusive behavior includes, but is not limited to, unwanted sexual touching over and under clothing, unwanted embracing, forced kissing, forcing the victim to touch the intimate parts of the abuser’s body, oral and anal rape (penetration by a body part or implement).
  • Anal rape is the most common form of male sexual assault.

What is Sexual Harassment?

Sexual harassment includes, but is not limited to:

  • Sexual gestures
  • Sexual sounds
  • Verbal statements of a sexual nature
  • Sexual bullying
  • Exposing genitals or breasts to the victim
  • Exposing the victim to pornography
  • Sending sexual image
  • Sextortion
  • Making disparaging remarks about the victim’s sexuality or orientation, expressions like “That’s so gay”
  • And more

See also our Power Topics Sexual Harassment Defined and its Impact and What is Sextortion?

Where Does the Sexual Abuse Occur? Can it Occur at School?

The abuse can occur anywhere, including:

  • In the victim’s home or a friend’s home
  • On the school bus
  • In the classroom, alone with a teacher or with others present
  • On the playing field
  • In the locker room or bathroom
  • On a date
  • At parties
  • In residential treatment centers
  • On scouting or school field trips
  • At work

What is Hazing?

  • Hazing is a humiliating and sometimes endangering activity expected of someone joining a group or team, whether or not the newcomer wants to participate in the hazing.
  • Unlike bullying, which isolates the victim, hazing is meant to strengthen inclusion because the victim submits to the hazing as a sign of loyalty, even though it is degrading and most often traumatic.
  • In many cases, though, the hazing is far more extreme than the participant expected, and he is unable to escape from the activity.
  • We usually associate hazing with initiation into a club; organization; or middle, high school, or college sports team. But it can also occur in military or workplace settings.
  • According to StopHazing.org, at least 47% of students are hazed before going to college.
  • Some schools or organizations intentionally mislabel sexual assault as “hazing.”
  • By dismissing the sexual assault as “hazing” or “boys will be boys,” the school/organization tries to escape accountability for the sexual assault, thereby protecting their reputation.
  • Many schools ignore the hazing, especially if it involves valued athletes, until a parent brings a lawsuit and holds the school accountable.
  • If schools properly identified the behaviors as sexual assault, they would be required to protect victims under the federal law, Title IX, which guarantees students an education free from sexual harassment and assault.
  • They would be required to report the incident as sexual violence to the police and Civil Rights Data Collection.
  • Just as sexual assaults on girls are covered up, especially when committed by male athletes, so are sexual assaults on males covered up.

What are Some Emotions and Behaviors Male Survivors Experience?

Male victims typically experience:

  • Shame
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Isolation
  • Low self-esteem
  • Self-destructive behavior
  • Post-traumatic stress reactions
  • Poor body image
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Nightmares
  • Eating disorders
  • Dysfunctional relations
  • Sexual problems
  • Compulsive behavior like alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, overspending, and sexual obsessions or compulsion

What are Some Social Myths Male Survivors Face?

Social myths increase undeserved shame and guilt. Society teaches that:

  • Males are supposed to be the sexual aggressor–not vulnerable or fearful.
  • Males are not supposed to have sexual contact with other males (an especially damaging message for gay or bisexual men).
  • Males are supposed to want every sexual experience they have. Males are not supposed to be used sexually.
  • If a male is aroused/ejaculates during the abuse, he enjoyed it. Wrong! Males often experience sexual arousal even if repulsed by what’s happening. Though the body reacts to stimulation, this is NOT consent!

These myths make it very difficult for males to report sexual assault or seek help.

More myths survivors must battle:

  • Males cannot be sexually abused or victimized. 
  • Sexual abuse turns a boy/youth gay. Wrong!  However, the abuse may lead to confusion about sexual identity and impact intimate relationships.
  • Sexually abused boys inevitably become sexually abusive men. Wrong! Over 80% of sexually abused boys will not become adult abusers but the majority of abusers (up to 80%) were abused themselves.
  • Males are less traumatized by sexual abuse than females. Wrong!  But the experience is different for each gender and for each person.
  • Boys/males can say no to abuse if violence is not used. Wrong! Victims can be threatened, intimidated, shamed into participation, or frozen by confusion or fright.

Learn more about myths at 1 in 6.

Where Can Male Survivors Get Help?

  • Call RAINN to speak confidentially with a trained advocate through the national helpline, 24/7 1-800-656-4673. They can help you locate an advocate and support services in your area.
  • Male survivors may not seek help, fearing blame for the circumstances that led to the abuse. They may fear retaliation by the abuser, friends, or the school where the abuse occurred. Even though the assault is NEVER the victim’s fault, the fear and reluctance to get help is understandable.
  • In addition, many adults (such as school staff/teachers) are mandatory reports, which means they must report sexual abuse to child protective services, the police, or other agencies.

But there are still ways to get help:

  1. Call a local nonprofit sexual assault response organization using RAINN’s interactive form.  Many certified advocates are not mandated reporters. When you call the organization do not give your last name. Ask: “Are your advocates mandatory reporters?” “Do you serve minors without parental permission?” If they are not mandated reporters, your conversations are confidential.
  2. Advocates can help victims talk to their parents or other adults. Often advocates will first talk to parents or other adult allies to make sure they know how to respond appropriately to their child.
  3. You can also speak in hypotheticals, saying, “This happened to a friend of mine.”
  4. If you are unable to continue your education free from sexual harassment/ abuse and hostility because your school is unhelpful, advocates can help create a safety plan for school or help you transfer to another school if desired.
  5. It’s important to get counselling to heal from the trauma. The sexual assault or other youth organization can connect you with a counsellor.  If privacy is an issue, confirm that the counsellor is NOT a mandatory reporter.

What Can I Do if the School or Organization Ignores Sexual Abuse (and Hazing)?

Discussion Topics

  • Why should we care about the experiences of males who are sexually harassed or assaulted?
  • If males knew they could be victims of sexual assault, would that change their behavior towards females and LGBTQ+ youth who are sexually harassed/assaulted?
  • How can we provide emotional support for male survivors of sexual harassment and abuse?
  • What can we do when we see male sexual harassment or assault?
  • What can survivors who are afraid of retaliation from friends or the school for reporting do?
  • Since males rarely report the abuse or seek help, what are the long-term consequences for the mental and emotional health?
  • After receiving adult guidance on the appropriateness of this video for your group, discuss how the actor conveys the experience of sexual abuse and why he uses the word “hilarious.” CONTENT WARNING https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikd0ZYQoDko&ab_channel=VenerableB

Dive Deeper into Male Sexual Harassment and Assault

The primary source for this presentation AZ Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence

 

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